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Post by GRACEY LOUISE ENGLAND . on Aug 14, 2012 13:25:22 GMT -8
[style=font-family: times; font-size:20px; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 30PX;]AND ALL I FEEL IS THIS CRUEL WANTING [/style] | [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]it was starting to become more noticable, the sickness that was slowly claiming gracey's life. she had lost a substantial amount of weight, her eyes seemed duller and her overall strength was becoming noticably weaker. she had tried to so hard to not make it as noticable as it was, but she could tell that her loved ones knew something was wrong. obviously they would, if they knew gracey when she was healthy, it would be obvious when she was sick. the place where it was most noticable was at her job; after about fifteen minutes she would need to sit down and stay that way for a good hour before she would have the strength to stand up again. how she was even managing full days was beyond her, especially when she got to the point where she felt as though she was about to faint. however, as hard as it was, gracey wasn't going to stop working, she knew that it would help her prolong her life. it made her feel as though she had something to live for and that was honestly the only thing she needed, at this point.
no one she knew or cared about was told about the cancer spreading through her veins, she knew that she wouldn't be able to take the looks of pity and sorrow on her friend's faces every time they saw her. she didn't want to cause anyone's sadness, she had enough for herself, already. so, when colby had called in and stated that she wasn't going to be working today, she ignored it completely. getting out of bed, she walked otwards her dressed and started getting dressed, almost immediately feeling tired. it took her fifteen minutes just to put her clothes on and change, but she managed. when she stood up to head to the door, grabbing onto anything she could to help herself move. she knew she would have to make it look like she didn't need to do such things at work, so she took as much advantage of it as she could now. making her way down the stairs, she she finally made it to the bottom, taking a step on the bottom step before she let out a heavy sigh, trying to catch her breath.
after a few more minutes and couple of struggling points, she made it to her car, sitting in it before letting out a heavy breath and starting it. She was already ten minutes late for work, but she knew that colby wouldn't care, especially since he had told her not to come in today at all.
pulling up to the back of the store, she climbed out of her car and into the record store through the back, employees only entrance. When she walked in, she placed her jacket on a hanger and walked into the store, seeing that it was fairly slow today. Looking around, she leaned on the counter and ran a hand through her hair, pushing it all over to one side, "Colby?" she called out before she pushed off the counter and went into the back again, figuring maybe hwas in his office. When she walked into the door way, she saw him there, sitting at his desk looking like he was concentrating quite hard, "Careful there, don;t think too hard or you might pop a blood vessel." she teased before she let out a soft giggle. [/style] |
[style=font-family: times; font-size: 20px; padding-top: 0px;]WE'VE BEEN FALLING FOR ALL OF THIS TIME [/style] FIVE SIX NINE FOR COLBY/ LAUREN .
stooked for these two.
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Post by COLBY DAMIEN MAGNUS . on Aug 14, 2012 14:12:51 GMT -8
THE STORE ALWAYS OPENED AT NINE IN THE MORNING, ELEVEN ON SUNDAYS. COLBY USUALLY CAME IN AT NINE AND LEFT THE STORE TO BE OPENED WITH THE MANAGER, GRACEY, HOWEVER, SINCE SHE'D BECOME ILL, MORE OFTEN THAN NORMAL, HE'D STARTED COMING IN EARLY HIMSELF. THIS MORNING HE'D ARRIVED AT EIGHT TO SET THINGS UP, SUCH AS PUT THE CASH IN THE TILL AND SWITCH ON ALL THE ELECTRICS AND RE-SORT ALL THE PRODUCTS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER. HE'D ONLY JUST SAT DOWN IN THE BACK OFFICE, LETTING ONE OF THE PART TIME CASHIERS OUT FRONT. HE NEEDED TO GET ON TOP OF SOME ORDERS AND SEND A FEW EMAILS. IT WAS NINE FOURTY AND COLBY WAS READING A PAPER ORDER AND COMPARING IT TO THE ONLINE FIGURES, MAKING SURE THEY MATCHED. OF COURSE THEY DIDN'T; HE KNEW GRACEY WASN'T WORKING AS WELL AS SHE USED TO, AND WAS GRADUALLY GETTING WORSE. HER ENERGY WAS ALWAYS AT A MINIMUM AND HER CONCENTRATION WAS PRACTICALLY NON EXISTENT.
LOOKING CLOSELY AT THE APPLE SCREEN, HE MENTALLY STARTED CALCULATING THE DIFFERENCE AND TRYING TO FIND WHERE THE FIGURES HAD BEEN MISPLACED OR LOST. THAT'S WHEN GRACEY'S VOICE CAUGHT HIS ATTENTION AND PULLED HIS EYES FROM THE SCREEN. COLBY TOOK A MOMENT, STARING IN DISBELIEF. DIDN'T YOU GET MY MESSAGE, GRACEY? I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THE DAY OFF HE SPOKE, DISAPPOINTMENT IN HIS TONE OF VOICE. SIT DOWN BABE HE SIGHED, RUBBING HIS FOREHEAD. GRACEY HAD BEEN AMAZING IN HER INTERVIEW - SHE'D SHOWN SUCH PASSION AND INTEREST IN WORKING FOR SCRAPE, AND SHE HAD EXPERIENCE IN WORKING IN FAST PACED ENVIORNMENTS WITH A BIT OF EXPERIENCE WITH MANAGING TEAMS. SHE LOOKED HOT TOO, SO OF COURSE COLBY OFFERED HER A POSITION. JUST AS CASHIER FIRST AS WHEN HE OPENED IT WAS JUST A SMALL BUSINESS. COLBY WAS ON THE SHOP FLOOR JUST AS MUCH AS SHE WAS; BUT ONCE THE MONEY STARTED ROLLING IN, THAT'S WHEN COLBY WAS MORE INVOLVED IN THE BACK OFFICE AND HAD TO HIRE MORE CASHIERS. EVENTUALLY, HE NEEDED A MANAGER SO HE INSTANTLY OFFERED IT TO GRACEY. HOWEVER, IT WAS LITERALLY JUST FOUR MONTHS BEFORE SHE STARTED GETTING ILL. NOW IT WAS SO SERIOUS, COLBY WAS TEMPTED TO DISMISS GRACEY ON SICK LEAVE AND HIRE A REPLACEMENT. HE'D WANTED TO TALK TO HER FOR SOME TIME BUT, HE'D PUT IT OFF BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO TELL SOMEONE THEY COULDN'T WORK FOR HIM ANY LONGER.
YOU'RE MORE STUBBORN THAN A JACKASS SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW THAT? HE SMILED, WITH A LIGHT HEARTED CHUCKLE AT THE END. HE SAT BACK IN HIS CHAIR AND SIGHED, GIVING HIS HEAD A REST FROM MATH. WHY'D YOU COME IN GRACEY? YOU KNOW YOU'RE NOT WELL. IT'S NOT GOOD FOR YOU TO KEEP WORKING WITH NO ENERGY, BABE HE SPOKE QUIETLY, THE FAINT SOUND OF THE ROLLING STONES PLAYING IN THE FOREGROUND OF THE SHOP FLOOR. ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE UP FOR TODAY? I KNOW IT'S PRETTY DEAD OUT THERE RIGHT NOW, BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW IT CAN PICK UP PRETTY FAST HE ASKED.
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Post by GRACEY LOUISE ENGLAND . on Aug 14, 2012 14:25:32 GMT -8
[style=font-family: times; font-size:20px; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 30PX;]AND ALL I FEEL IS THIS CRUEL WANTING [/style] | [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]recently, gracey hadn't been doing all that well at work, and she knew it. it pained her to know that she was putting extra work on people while being there, but she knew she would only be puttin on more if she didn't, so she opted to come in. the last thing she wanted was to burden people, which was why hse also hadn't told anyone about what was happening to her. besides, she only had a few more months and she would be bringing in her resignation soon enough. it wasn't like she was going to stay at home and die, she was going to at least cover all of her bases before letting herself fade away into nothingness. maybe she would tell one or two people, like colby and mary, before she actually kicked the dust. it was hard not telling anyone, that was for damn sure, but she would rather put the pain on herself, rather than anyone else, especially people who she knew would be even more heartbroken than she was about the whole thing.
as she stood in the door way and leaned on the door frame, she could feel her strength already giving out, so when Colby offered her a seat, she gladly took it. walking forward, she grabbed onto the back of the chair and eased her way into it before she leaned forward and put her elbows on the desk in front of her, "i did, yeah. but do you really expect me not to come in? i have bills to pay." she replied before she looked at him comparing things on the computer. gracey never used to get anything wrong when it came down to the numbers, but because of her lack of energy, she knew she had been messing up a lot, "how bad was i off this time?" she asked, her voice sounding disppointed before she looked at her hands. when he made the statement about her being stubborn, she chuckled, "that's why you hired me." she explained and gave him a cheesy smile. at his next statement, she furrowed her eyebrows, "yes, of course i'm up for it. i'll be fine." she explained before she sat back in he chair, "i know it can, and i'll take core of it." she added, her voice getting somewhat defensive. [/style] |
[style=font-family: times; font-size: 20px; padding-top: 0px;]WE'VE BEEN FALLING FOR ALL OF THIS TIME [/style] EYE DEE KAY FOR COLBY/ LAUREN .
stooked for these two.
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Post by COLBY DAMIEN MAGNUS . on Aug 14, 2012 15:03:34 GMT -8
COLBY LOOKED AT THE COMPUTER SCREEN FOR A MOMENT BEFORE PUSHING IT SO GRACEY COULDN'T SEE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT FOR NOW HE SPOKE. HE LEANT FORWARD AND SMILED AT HER, NODDING IN AGREEMENT. WELL, I KNOW YOU KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE IT BUT, HERE'S THE THING. I ... I DON'T THINK YOU CAN HE SPOKE, PAUSING FOR A MOMENT, NOT LOOKING GRACEY IN THE EYES. NOT ANYMORE HE SPOKE, LOOKING UP SHYLY. HE COULD SEE SHE WAS ABOUT TO LET BLOW AND BEFORE SHE COULD EVEN GET A WORD IN HE PUT HIS HANDS UP AND SAT UP, PUTTING UP HIS SHIELDS OF DEFENCE FROM A PISSED OFF WOMAN. I KNOW YOU GOT BILLS GRACEY BUT, YOU CAN'T KEEP WORKING WHILST YOUR ILL. YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF WORSE. EVERYDAY I NOTICE YOU COME IN WEAKER, LOOKING MORE PALE, TIRED AND IT'S EVEN GETTING THE OTHER GUYS CONCERNED - SOME EVEN ANGRY HE SPOKE TRAILING OFF AT THE END, NOT REALLY WANTING TO SAY GRACEY'S SICK DAYS WERE PISSING PEOPLE OFF. COLBY KNEW GRACEY WOULD NEVER TAKE ADVANTAGE, BUT IT WAS ALSO EVIDENT THAT GRACEY WAS SICK JUST BY LOOKING AT HER.
COLBY SIGHED LOOKING UP AT THE DOOR. HE STOOD UP AND WALKED OVER TO CLOSE IT. HE STOOD BY IT, HOLDING ONTO THE HANDLE BEFORE TURNING AROUND, PUTTING HIS HANDS IN HIS POCKETS AWKWARDLY. I ... I THINK YOU SHOULD GO ON SICK LEAVE. ILL SEND YOUR WAGES IN THE POST BUT, I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU SHOULD GO ON FULL REST. YOU ... YOU LOOK LIKE.... DEATH HE WHISPERED WALKING OVER TO THE DESK AGAIN. HE WATCHED HER SHOCKED, ANGRY, UPSET AND TIRES FACE. HER ONCE GORGEOUS EYES NOW LOOKED DULL AND HER LONG RAVEN HAIR LOOKED SO WEAK. HER HANDS LOOKED LIKE THEY BELONGED TO AN OLD WOMAN. HER SKIN WAS PALER THAN WHAT IT WAS BEFORE AND DARK AROUND HER EYES, ALMOST BLACK, AND HER CHEEKBONES STUCK OUT SOMETHING AWFUL NOW. HER WHOLE FACE HAD SUNKEN IN; SHE LOOKED NOTHING LIKE SHE DID IN HER FILE PHOTO. I WANT YOU TO TAKE SICK LEAVE AND GO HOME. GET RESTED AND ONLY COME BACK WHEN YOUR DOCTOR SAYS ITS SAFE TO DO SO HE SIGHED, SITTING BACK DOWN. I CAN'T HAVE YOU PUSHING YOURSELF. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAVN'T COLLAPSED HE SIGHED, SHAKING HIS HEAD.
COLBY LOOKED FROM THE COMPUTER SCREEN TO THE DESK TO GRACEY. THIS ISN'T JUST A STOMACH BUG OR THE FLU ... HE SPOKE QUIETLY, SHYLY LOOKING UP AT GRACEY BEFORE CLEARING HIS THROAT. GO HOME GRACEY PLEASE. IF YOU DONT TAKE SICK LEAVE ... I'LL HAVE TO CALL THE PARAMEDICS TO REMOVE YOU HE ADMITTED IN A SORROWFUL TONE.
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Post by GRACEY LOUISE ENGLAND . on Aug 14, 2012 15:16:27 GMT -8
[style=font-family: times; font-size:20px; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 30PX;]AND ALL I FEEL IS THIS CRUEL WANTING [/style] | [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]when she sat down and looked at him, she could tell that there was something on his mind. after working with him for so many years, she had grown to know just what he was thinking and feeling. right now, he had something on his mind and it was troubling him to the endth degree. what he was worried about, she could could only guess it was her and her ever deteriorating condition. when he started to speak, her eyebrows began to furrow, not liking what she was hearing, already. how could he do this to her? after everything she had done for him in the past? she knew that she was sick and weak, but she knew she could still carry on her job, her mom had, so why couldn't she? at this point, she just felt like some sort of failure, like she hadn't done her mom any respect by hearing colby tell her to pack up and leave until she was better. oh, if only he knew that she wasn't going ot be getting any better, "I can't just stay home, Colby! I need something to, I need to work." she explained to him before she shook her head, "I can't believe you're doing this." she added before she ran both her hands into her hair.
When he told her not to come back unto she was better she shook her head, "If you do that I won't be coming back...ever." she murmured before she lifted her head and looked right at him, "I don't think you understand what this job means to me, cole." she explained before she put her hands on her lap, "I have nothing left, except for this job." she added before she shrugged, "I wouldn't know what else to do with myself." she added, her words genuine and almost desperate. She knew that this was probably the perfect time to tell him about what was really happening to her, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. if colby wanted anything out of her, he would have to pry it out of her, "i won't mess up anymore, i'll start drinking more energy drinks, more coffee. i just can't stay home all day, i'll go insane!" she exclaimed, trying to get it through his head that she was nothing without this job, nothing without something to keep her getting up in the morning, "please, colby..." she begged, "i could just sit at the computer all day and do that for you, it's the standing that makes me tired, anyways! if i just sit, i'll be fine, i promise!" [/style] |
[style=font-family: times; font-size: 20px; padding-top: 0px;]WE'VE BEEN FALLING FOR ALL OF THIS TIME [/style] EYE DEE KAY FOR COLBY/ LAUREN .
stooked for these two.
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Post by COLBY DAMIEN MAGNUS . on Aug 14, 2012 15:40:29 GMT -8
COLBY CLOSED HIS EYES AS SHE PUT UP YET ANOTHER FIGHT. MORE EXCUSES NOT TO LEAVE AND STAY HOME. COLBY DIDNT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. HE LISTENED TO HER PLEA AND SHOOK HIS HEAD ALL THE WAY THROUGH, KNOWING IT WOULD BE WORTHLESS LETTING HER STAY. GRACEY WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO KID? YOU'VE KEPT SAYING THAT SINCE I FIRST TOLD YOU TO TAKE TIME OFF. THERE ARE OTHER JOBS OUT THERE, JOBS WHERE YOU CAN WORK FROM HOME HE SPOKE. COLBY RUBBED HIS EYES AND LICKED HIS DRY LIPS. THIS WASN'T HOW HE WANTED THINGS TO GO, AT ALL. I CAN'T ACCEPT YOU WORKING HERE ANYMORE. YOU'RE KILLING YOURSELF GRACEY. AT THE END OF THE DAY, THIS IS JUST A SHOP. IT'S JUST A LITTLE, POXY SHOP THAT SELLS VINYLS AND CDS IN THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY WHERE EVERYTHING IS DIGITAL AND DOWNLOADED HE SPOKE. COLBY RUFFLED HIS HAIR AND STARED AT THE DESK BEFORE TAKING A DEEP BREATH. THIS JOB IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT HE ADDED QUIETLY, LOOKING UP AT HER. IM DOING THIS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. GO HOME MISS ENGLAND HE SPOKE, DROPPING HER LAST NAME FOR ADDED SERIOUSNESS TO THE CONVERSATION. PLEASE HE ASKED.
COLBY SWALLOWED A LARGE LUMP IN THIS THROAT BEFORE PUSHING A BOOKLET IN FRONT OF HER ABOUT SICK AND WORK. THERE'S PLENTY OF INFORMATION IN THERE ABOUT WHAT SUPPORT YOU CAN GET AND HOW YOU CAN BE FINANCIALLY HELPED WITH HOUSEHOLD BILLS AND HEALTH COSTS. IT'S GOT PLENTY OF OPTIONS IN THERE AND RECOMMENDATIONS - SO YOU'RE NOT ENTIRELY ALONE. YOU HAVE TO GET BETTER GRACEY, AND COMING TO WORK LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING WILL NOT DO IT HE SAID FIRMLY YET GENTLY. GO HOME. I'LL KEEP IN TOUCH HE SPOKE.
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Post by GRACEY LOUISE ENGLAND . on Aug 14, 2012 16:12:17 GMT -8
[style=font-family: times; font-size:20px; padding-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 30PX;]AND ALL I FEEL IS THIS CRUEL WANTING [/style] | [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,450,true][atrb=cellSpacing,0,true][atrb=cellPadding,0,true][atrb=style, background-color: #6d6d6d;] [style=padding: 10px; text-align: justify; font-family: arial; font-size: 10px; height: 475px; overflow: auto; color: #1e1e1e;]with each moment that was ticking by, she felt herself losing more and more control over her emotions. all she wanted to do was keep working, if he stuck her in the back, she wouldn't be in anyone's way. she couldn't understand why he couldn't see just how bad she needed this, not just because of the location, but be cause she just needed to work. if she didn't have a job, what would she get up for? she would just lie in bed all day and all night until she faded away and died. there wasn't just that, there was also the fact that she enjoyed being able to see colby five days of the week, she didn't know what she would do without seeing him, "It's not just the shop! Not just the shop. This is like my second home!" she explained before she shook her head, "Don't you get it! This is my home!" she exclaimed, trying to get it through to him, just how badly she needed to stay and work for him, "I couldn't possibly work anywhere else!" she replied, knowing that she was speaking nothing but the truth.
when she dropped her last name, she knew that he meant business, that he wasn't going to back down until she finally gave in. that pissed her off and hurt her to no end, she realized that he was doing it for her own good, that he cared about her well being. however, she also hated being told what to do by him, it had always been that way; they butted heads all of the time, both of them stubborn mules. so, finally, gracey couldn't take it anymore. using all of the strength that she had, she stood up and looked down at him, "You aren't getting it! If I stop working here now, you'll never see me again! This isn't just me not wanting to go home and get better, because I won't get better! I'm done for! There is nothing else that I can do except work!" her voice rose in volume. "I have nothing left except a few months of pain and weakness before i die! I would rather work until my last breath than waste away in my own bed!" she added, pounding her fist onto the desk and before she shook her head and pushed herself off the table, turning around to head towards the door. exerting all that energy had made her extremely tired and weak. all of her limbs felt as though they were jello as she grabbed the door knob and twisted it, leaning on the door before she walked out of the room. [/style] |
[style=font-family: times; font-size: 20px; padding-top: 0px;]WE'VE BEEN FALLING FOR ALL OF THIS TIME [/style] EYE DEE KAY FOR COLBY/ LAUREN .
stooked for these two.
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Post by COLBY DAMIEN MAGNUS . on Aug 15, 2012 2:36:00 GMT -8
COLBY LOOKED UP AT GRACEY AND STARED AT HER WITH CONFUSION. WHAT ON EARTH WAS SHE TALKING ABOUT? HE LISTENED TO WHAT SHE KEPT SAYING, LIKE HOW THIS SHOP WAS HER HOME. THAT MADE HIM SIGH WITH TWO EMOTIONS - GRATITUDE AND DISBELIEF. COLBY FROWNED A LITTLE BIT WHEN GRACEY SPOKE SHE'D NEVER COME BACK IF SHE LEFT. THAT'S WHEN HE STAYED QUIET TO SEE IF HE'D FIND OUT SOMETHING VALUABLE, SOME EXPLANATION THAT WOULD MAKE ALL OF THIS SENSE. COLBY LOOKED DOWN AT HIS DESK AS SHE HIT IT WITH HER FIST. SHE STILL HAD SOME FIRE IN HER BELLY THEN, DESPITE THE LACK OF ENERGY. THEN HIS BROWN EYES LOOKED UP WHEN SHE SAID SHE'D DIE. THEN HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS - THIS HORRIBLE CONDITION WAS THE BIG C, COLBY KNEW THAT NOW. BEFORE HE WASN'T SO SURE, HE HAD AN INCLING IT WAS SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT HE DIDNT WANT TO DARE THINK ABOUT IT. HE'D LOST SO MANY FRIENDS TO CANCER THROUGH HIS LIFE. HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. HE FELT LIKE HE WAS CHOKING.
GRACEY HAD CANCER, AND ONLY A FEW MONTHS TO LIVE. GRACEY ENGLAND HAD CANCER, A WOMAN HE CARED FOR DEEPLY. WELL HE DIDNT KNOW HOW MUCH UNTIL HE'D BECOME AWARE SHE WAS GOING TO DIE. COLBY'S MOUTH HAD DROPPED A LITTLE IN SHOCK AND HIS BODY HAD FROZEN. HE FELT SO HEAVY GETTING UP TO CHASE AFTER GRACEY, SO MUCH SO HE TRIPPED OVER THE BIT OF CAREPT THAT HAD COME LOOSE BY THE DOORWAY. STUMBLING A LITTLE HE REGAINED COMPOSURE BEFORE STOPPING. THIS WAS NO PLACE TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION. COLBY SLOWLY WALKED TO THE FRONT WATCHING GRACEY LEAVE. HE PRESSED HIS LIPS TOGETHER BEFORE CATCHING THE CONFUSED LOOK FROM THE YOUNG PART TIMER, HUW. COLBY SHOOK HIS HEAD IVE DISMISSED HER ON SICK LEAVE AND SHE'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT HE QUIETLY EXPLAINED BEFORE RUBBING HIS NECK. COLBY RUBBED HIS NECK EVEN HARDER AND LOOKED AT THE FLOOR, LISTENING TO METALLICA.
BITING HIS TONGUE HE SLOWLY DRAGGED HIMSELF TO THE BACK OFFICE AGAIN AND SAT DOWN, LEANING BACK WITH HIS EYES CLOSED. AFTER A MOMENT HE LOOKED AT THE CEILING AND THOUGHT ABOUT HIS LIFE. HOW HE LOST SO MANY PEOPLE AND HOW EACH TIME IT KILLED HIM EVEN MORE. HE PULLED OUT HIS WALLET FROM HIS POCKET AS WELL AS HIS CIGARETTES AND LIGHTER. HE LIT UP AND TOOK A LONG DRAG, FINDING SOME KIND OF RELIEF FROM THE NICOTINE. WHILST HOLDING IT IN HIS LIPS HE LOOKED AT THE PHOTOGRAPH OF HIS MOM AND DAD. HIS DAD WAS HOLDING HIS MOTHER CLOSELY AND IN THE BACKGROUND WAS A LARGE FAIR. THE PHOTO WAS IN BLACK AND WHITE BUT YOU COULD GUESS WHAT THE COLOURS WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE WITH ALL THE LIGHTS. CHEWING HIS LIP PIERCING HE PUT THE PHOTO DOWN AND TOOK ANOTHER DRAG OF HIS CIGARETTE. AS HE BLEW THE SMOKE OUT HE WATCHED IT RISE IN THE AIR AND DISAPPEAR IN THE AIR VENT.
HOW LUCKY HE WAS TO BE ABLE TO EAT ANYTHING HE WANTED WITHOUT GAINING A POUND, ABLE TO DRINK ANYTHING AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES OF KIDNEY DAMAGE, AND HOW HE COULD INDULGE IN CIGARETTES AND CIGARS AND NOT WORRY ABOUT CANCER. HE TOOK THAT FOR GRANTED. NOT BEING HUMAN WAS STRANGE, YOU HAD TO BE SO CAREFUL AND YOU HAD TO BE READY TO ANSWER QUESTIONS THAT PUT YOU ON THE SPOT. LIKE HOW COLBY NEVER GOT A COLD, OR GOT ILL FOR THAT MATTER. HOW HE SEEMED TO EAT THE BIGGEST BURGERS AND STEAKS YET NOT GAIN ANY WEIGHT, AND THE NUMBER OF BEERS HE COULD DRINK WITHOUT GETTING DRUNK. PLAYING WITH THE ASH IN THE TRAY ON HIS DESK, COLBY THOUGHT LONG AND HARD. IF HE DID WHAT HE WAS THINKING, HE'D BE CLASSED AS A THIEF AND A MURDERER. COLBY COULD EASILY TAKE ALL OF GRACEY'S PAIN AND MISERY AWAY. COLBY COULD PLAY GOD. WHICH IS WHY THIS WAS SCARY - HE WAS PLAYING WITH SOMEONE'S LIFE.
IMAGINE WHAT DAMAGE THIS COULD DO TO HER IF HE TOLD HER ABOUT WHAT HE WAS AND WHAT WAS REALLY OUT THERE. SHE'D FREAK OUT AND PROBABLY HATE HIM FOR IT. FINISHING HIS CIGARETTE HE LOOKED ONE MORE TIME AT HIS PARENTS. COLBY MISSED HIS DAD SOMETHING AWFUL, AND COLBY WISHED A THOUSAND TIMES A DAY HE COULD BRING HIM BACK. HE DIDNT WANT TO TALK TO HIS MOTHER ABOUT THIS - NEITHER DID HE WANT TO TALK TO HIS BEST FRIEND AXYL. THIS WAS JUST FOR HIM TO DECIDE, AND GRACEY OF COURSE. HE RUBBED HIS HANDS TOGETHER AND PLAYED WITH THE GOLD RING ON HIS FINGER THAT ONCE BELONGED TO HIS DAD. COLBY KEPT SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE THOUGHT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. HE JUST SAT AT HIS DESK FOR THREE HOURS THINKING ABOUT IT. EVENTUALLY, HE MADE A DECISION.
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